Alan Seidler

For most of my life, people ranging from friends to TV talk-show hosts having been asking me two questions about my interest in gorillas, to wit: “Why do you write songs about gorillas?” and “what do your gorilla songs mean?” Though I may not be able to provide a direct answer that will satisfy everyone, I can give you some personal background and some information on the gorilla species itself which may make things a bit more clear.

I guess it all started back in 1932 when my Dad was an elementary school pupil and saw the original “King Kong” in the movies. He was very unhappy when the forces of law and order shot Kong down from the roof of the Empire State Building and felt that the gorilla just wasn’t getting a fair break, a feeling intensified by treatment of gorillas in later films and other media, which he felt painted the gorilla as a dangerous monster, something he knew deep down was neither true nor fair.

By the time I was a toddler, Dad had educated himself on the subject and was convinced more than ever that gorillas were being unjustly vilified and getting much too much bad press for no good reason at all. I remember him bringing home books on the subject as I was growing up, and I dutifully read them all, in the process coming to the conclusion that Dad was 100% right.

These are the known facts to the best of my ability to present them: The gorilla species as a whole is herbivorous, living off the local fruits and other vegetation in the regions of Central Africa in which virtually all gorillas outside of captivity spend their lives. They are inherently peaceful and will NEVER attack any other creature, human or otherwise, unless attacked or in fear of imminent attack. The gorilla is a basically social animal, traveling in small families or groups called bands or troops, though any resemblance to the military of this or any other country ends right there.

During the explorations of Central Africa in the mid-19th Century, zoologists discovered and codified the idea that the gorilla species was divided into two subspecies, i.e., gorilla gorilla gorilla (the lowlands or plains gorilla) and gorilla gorilla berengeii (the mountain gorilla). Disastrously, the lowlands gorilla has been on the endangered species list for many years, mostly due to the encroachment by poachers and outright murder of these harmless creatures for their teeth, hands, and various other body parts which are prized by natives for cultural and “religious” reasons. The population of mountain gorillas has been left relatively unscathed, if only because the terrain they inhabit is far more difficult for poachers to reach.

In the early 1970s, I was one of the privileged few to attend a zoological conference in which the existence of a third subspecies, gorilla gorilla ungulata (the hoof-gorilla, better known as the hoove-ape) was announced. As of yet, for reasons I can’t quite get a handle on, this information has largely remained undisclosed to the general public.

Physically, the hoove-ape differs little from the other gorilla subspecies from the head and torso to the lower legs. What separates gorilla gorilla ungulata physically from other primates is the fact that where both the lowlands and mountain gorilla have large feet, the hoove-ape has oversized hooves which are covered with fur, much like a Clydesdale or Pincheron horse. It is likely that the extra mobility provided by its hooves has allowed the hoove-ape to migrate beyond the area generally inhabited by other gorillas. Unfortunately, hoove-apes are notoriously camera-shy and no known photographs of the creature are known to exist. Of course, their hooves also handicap them in certain ways (e.g., they are unable to climb, pick bananas or acquire other food on their own), and are often dependent on the assistance of other “normal” apes to do these things. They have been tested as having greater than normal intelligence than the average gorilla of the other two species, and are though to have a highly developed spiritual sense, which makes the other gorillas more inclined to help them with simple tasks.

Since their discovery, I have written and sung many songs involving hoove-apes in an attempt to alert the public to their existence and many wonderful characteristics, but doing so is a long uphill battle, though it is one I feel compelled not to abandon, no matter what else may be going on in my life at the time.

I hope this statement has clarified at least some of the curiosity surrounding my seemingly obsessive interest in the gorilla family, and wherever you may be, please contact the appropriate authorities to protest the sport-killing of the lowlands gorilla to save it from extinction, learn as much as you can about the little-known but warm and furry hoove-ape, and above all, remember the slogan I grew up with and make it your own: GORILLAS ARE GOOD!

Yours Truly,
ALAN